My Rich Old Lady

I have a game plan for moving to London and living in luxury.

Find a friendly old widow, with a townhouse in zone 1, and move into one of her spare bedrooms. We can eat breakfast together, and since old people wake up early perhaps she'll even want to make it for me. We'll both be very down to earth, and not require a chef, but perhaps someone to help with (my) ironing, laundry, cleaning. She'll have very fast wireless internet, huge flat screen tvs, and be slightly hard of hearing so I can play my music without bothering her. Like all nice old rich ladies, she will also have a pack of small dogs, to which I can gently suggest she add a couple of standard poodle. Then I will take the standard poodles on walks. She will have no family members alive, and look upon me as a daughter figure - not that I want her $ when she dies, just a reliable friend till she dies; and since we'll get along so well, I'm hoping she wont die soon.

Seriously, how do I go about locating my lady? In my brainstorm I've come up with an idea - I will pretend to be a church going Christian! Old ladies are either funny bitter aethiests or very religious, and since I can't find an athisflatshare.org, my approach is christianflatshare.org .

But in that I have found another problem - old ladies aren't the most internet savy bunch so unless their butlers are posting extra rooms online, I need to reach them another way. Perhaps going to a club meeting that targets my lady, such as the Miller's Academy or the RAC (which has cute little motorbikes on it's flag hanging over Pall Mall) will be good stomping grounds.

Then of course, there is Cal's flat. I could stay with him. But we're still debating this one - let you know when we figure it out.