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My B-day

Cal sent my flowers, which smell divine and look amazing. Best part is, they come with a vase so I don't have to worry about using my little one :-). They make me smile every time I walk into the room. From my sister, I got silver hoop earings. And my parents got me a couple of clothing items for work.

At work they give out boxes of pop corn for B-days! There are 6 flavors including white chocolate peanut butter and caramel chocolate drizzle. Needless to say - very dangerous so it's important to share.

I returned to NJ for a night at mom made me my favorite dinner of pecan chicken (that's right - I ate chicken!), rice, and greenery. The desert was a masterful chocolate bunt cake I forgot to take a picture of. Oh - and when I took a train back to ny, it was double decker! I felt like I was in the Netherlands!

Olymic Torch, I Saw It!

I forgot to mention I saw that torch with the little Chinese mafia men around it! First it drove by me, Cal, and his parents as we walked to the DLR - on a bus. Then it went across the Thames from Canary Wharf to erm, that dock at the 02 where the Clipper clips away from. I know you can't really see it but I swear, that's it! With the 5 boats around it.

Cody's Duck

My poddle has a thing for quaking duck stuffed animals. We've given him buffalo, polar bears, and a beaver, but he only falls in love with the ducks. My mom says it's the quack. When he paws at Ducky, it goes "quack quack quack quack quack" - sometimes when I call home, I can hear it in the background; the thing really doesn't shut up. Below are two images of Cody with his most recently deceased (notice the torn out bill), and then his current yellow duck. (color, we have found, is not an issue).

April Images

I've taken a bunch of pics this month on my phone, but failed to upload. Here are some highlights.

This art is dog scratches on paper. It's apparently famous and worth $$$$, residing in a lawyer's entryway.
My clothing supply in NJ is limited because most of my closet is in fidi with me, but I did pull out some toe socks when i was last home for my birthday.
These doors in the west village are the 2nd love of my life. they're huge, I'm guessing 12' tall, perhaps you can see the "mini" door (like cathedrals have) on the third panel to the left.
Me, eating a cupcake on the west side highway as runners jog past. I swear God put them there to make me feel guilty. I finished the entire cupcake, at least it was vegan.
Police ponies in east china town fenced in area.
Amazing poster store on Chambers st with tons of origional old movie& theatre posters for a cool $500 and up. Worthy note - the gallerina isn't a bitch!
One of those floraly trees (cherry tree?) in Tribeca. I love walking under them. My favorite spot is along Cole's Sports Center at Mercer and Bleeker.

Tans & Cosmo

NY Times Magazine had 1 double sided glossy ad in the middle of its pages; each side has close up image of a model with very natural makeup, brunette, a little bit of a tan, and soft pink lipstick pouting at me. In white bold white letters side 1 reads: SEXY MEANS SHOWING YOUR TRUE COLORS, and side two reads: SEXY MEANS BUSINESS, with a fun fact below: LAST YEAR, COSMO READERS SPENT OVER $3 BILLION ON BEAUTY PRODUCTS WIHTOUT BLUSHING. HOW SEXY IS THAT?

Excuse me?

Sexy = business
buying beauty products = sexy
So...
business = buying beauty products?

(if you know which type of fallacy this is, please let me know because I forget)

Needless to say, the ad is shit. Why is purchasing lots of beauty products make women sexy? Certainly Cosmo magazine is projecting a certain type of sexy that can't be done without lots of makeup. Interesting target market, I find that most of the magazine recycles the same sex tips and has 1 articles burried in the back pages that's 1/2 worth readings always entitled "I was a sex slave" or "I have an arranged marriage" with a "As told to ___ by ___" under the title.

While on my beauty rant, another problem - tanning! Why are people obsessed with looking tan? At work, Marie pointed out that women have been wanting to be pale for centuries. Pale is beautiful. People of darker skin tones in Africa and India spent millions (billions?) of dollars on skin lightening products, and white people spend TONS of $ on skin darkening at tanning salons? This is weird. Why can't we all just be happy with what we have naturally.

I think of India Arie's song Brown Skin, and how in love she is with her color. And then I think "Why is she so confident, but I look at myself in the mirror and feel pressured to pull out the bronzer brush?" It makes me feel even more self conscious about my self consciousness. Now I just need to throw out my NARS Sunkissed powder.

And about these people who say a tan looks healthier and those tanorexics. A normal BMI and fit muscles look fit and healthy. A super tan does not make you look skinnier. It means skin cancer and in my humble personal opinion, you're really vain and have way too much time. But that's not to say I've not attempted to lie down in the sun during the summer, it just never really works out for me.

So actually, perhaps this is all just the backlash of a chronically pale woman attempting to deal with her issues.

Kelis' Excel Diagram

Cal just sent this to me. I loved this song (Milkshake by Kelis), back in erm... 2003. God, that was so long ago.

Reputation Management

I got a call last night from this guy who found me on Monster. His father committed a crime 15 years ago, and now when his name is googled, court documents regarding the event pop up first in the organic results. Not good for business (especially when slimy competitors actually tell customers to google his name). Plus, the guy that phoned me has the same name as his dad - and it's a distinctive name that not many people have.

At about the same time, Avi received a call from some real estate tycoon. The man started crying, saying he'd lost his fiancee and business was ruined, all because of archived articles from Fox 5 News, NY1, and other prominent news sources that pop up when googled. In short, he needs help getting this shit off the 1st page.

So look out - reputation management is coming! What an excellent opportunity for me to grow my seo skills. I've begun my research. ya!

Bryant Park

Yesterday for lunch, it was so beautiful out that I walked to Bryant Park with my lunch (veggie panini & salad with tomato & guac). It was like a NJ mall the day after Thanksgiving! Totally packed, and I ended up sharing a table with a nice woman from Riverdale who worked at Reader's Digest selling ad space. We had a great time learning about each other's jobs & tamales.

My Spanx

I, like many women, wear Spanx with certain outfits. Now, for people who know what Spanx are and who I am, this may come as a surprise (even Beyonce does!). I am not a mini-van owner or 40 years old. I have a slim BMI for my 6 foot frame. But even so, my trunk can jiggle so I rely on Sarah Blakely's beautiful invention for certain silky outfits (mostly semi-sheer/silky dresses, where even the thinest Hanky Panky will catch the fabric and show through).

Here are my measurements before and after Spanx:
Around my belly button: before- 31", after- 30.5"
Lower Hip: before- 36", after- 36" (no change)
Thigh: before- 22.5", after- 22"

From doing these measurements, the funniest part is that in pant sizes, I'm a 28" or 29" - but actually, when you take out a measuring tape where my pants sit on my hips is 34". Those dang marketers.

I always have been a fighter for seamless underwear - and am constantly testing new brands, with much help from the ladies at Le Petit Coquette(although on my most recent trip this butch looking Russian was a bitch to me). It drives me crazy when I see women in bras that don't fit, apparently 85% of women don't wear the right size! And it happens so much! The worst offenders by far, in my opinion, are the Italians. You think they'd be all euro chic but those women are busting out in all the wrong places like it's a job (think back fat %'s of Free Willy).

Megalomania

Megalomania (from the Greek word μεγαλομανία) is a psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence - often generally termed as delusions of grandeur. It includes an obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

What did I do today?

I had a very productive day. Went to class, worked out before class, appointment in west village, here are a couple images and videos from my adventure.

I ate a snack of pickles, 2 slices of jack cheese, and almonds. I know, I'm eating dairy again - so savage. I thought it looked pretty, so I took a pic.
Me and V were early to meet Alex Moo for an evening drink at Kettle and the Fish in west villg, so we stopped by NYU's carnival in Kimmel and were entertained by magic tricks for a couple minutes, played with stick toys, and took this picture.


After dinner at Hampton Chutney (hollar to Steeners), me and V visited Cat who was getting a tattoo on Ludlow and Houston. Very exciting! She didn't flinch, because she's a seasoned pro and this was just a little heart on her wrist.

Puppies! (more)

This little yellow lab puppy follows me through the subways, isn't it cute? He advertises for Cottonelle, a TP brand.

Spying on Neighbors: The END!

I do not bull shit, after my previous post, I came home today and checked about all my windows that face next door and the apt is def empty!

Puppies!

This little guy was sitting across from me on the downtown 5 train ayer as I went home. Very exciting, he was like a hearty chihuahua looking doggy. And the old guy was a good looking old guy, with a great non-metro sense of style, i was very impressed by the whole package.
I was eating lunch the other day at Hale & Hearty Soups when... a westie in a pink sweater stopped RIGHT IN FRONT of me! I was so excited! I had to control myself and resist the urge to jump on the other side of the glass and pet it.

Spying On Neighbors

Me and Steeners look across a 5 foot gap into the building next door, 25 stories up in the sky. The apartment next door is always DEAD during the day. And at night, a white girl and black guy take their seats at desks and work at laptops. Then, an asian girl pops out and works at a laptop too on occasion. We think she lives there because we see her in the attached bedroom from a window next to our elevator in the hall. The lights are on practically EVERY night, ALL night. And every horizontal surface in the room is covered with stacks of papers and books. What do you think they're doing in there?

My Rich Old Lady

I have a game plan for moving to London and living in luxury.

Find a friendly old widow, with a townhouse in zone 1, and move into one of her spare bedrooms. We can eat breakfast together, and since old people wake up early perhaps she'll even want to make it for me. We'll both be very down to earth, and not require a chef, but perhaps someone to help with (my) ironing, laundry, cleaning. She'll have very fast wireless internet, huge flat screen tvs, and be slightly hard of hearing so I can play my music without bothering her. Like all nice old rich ladies, she will also have a pack of small dogs, to which I can gently suggest she add a couple of standard poodle. Then I will take the standard poodles on walks. She will have no family members alive, and look upon me as a daughter figure - not that I want her $ when she dies, just a reliable friend till she dies; and since we'll get along so well, I'm hoping she wont die soon.

Seriously, how do I go about locating my lady? In my brainstorm I've come up with an idea - I will pretend to be a church going Christian! Old ladies are either funny bitter aethiests or very religious, and since I can't find an athisflatshare.org, my approach is christianflatshare.org .

But in that I have found another problem - old ladies aren't the most internet savy bunch so unless their butlers are posting extra rooms online, I need to reach them another way. Perhaps going to a club meeting that targets my lady, such as the Miller's Academy or the RAC (which has cute little motorbikes on it's flag hanging over Pall Mall) will be good stomping grounds.

Then of course, there is Cal's flat. I could stay with him. But we're still debating this one - let you know when we figure it out.

Dossing Around SMALLEST apt EVER

Today I did well, very little. I enjoyed my day of screwing off by
1) watching a movie
2) doing weights at the gym for almost 2 hours with Venice
3) playing with evite backgrounds

Stuff I got done:
1) Picked up my shoes from the shoe man
2) Got a check for my UK work visa from my bank
3) Figured out how to complete my Anime paper due next Friday

4) Visited Alex Moo's new apt! And helped him with editing cover letters. He is now living on West 14th St, great location. Watch the video tour! And take notes B&Ters - this is how hard core NYers do it. (please note: I'm way not hard core)


No, it does not have a kitchen but it does have a hot plate. No, it does not have a private bathroom, but it does have a 3rd floor toilet that gets cleaned for him. No, it doesn't have the internet, but there are plenty of wireless signals around. No, it does not have any outside space, but it does have roof access where people throw their old mattresses.

Simulacrum

1.	a slight, unreal, or superficial likeness or semblance.

2.	an effigy, image, or representation: a simulacrum of Aphrodite.

Plural: simulacra
noun.

Cat in the Sink

My cat in the sink. Mom would go crazy if she saw this. Niki also likes to eat all the flowers. So we only buy roses, because she doesn't eat rose stems.