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My B-day

Cal sent my flowers, which smell divine and look amazing. Best part is, they come with a vase so I don't have to worry about using my little one :-). They make me smile every time I walk into the room. From my sister, I got silver hoop earings. And my parents got me a couple of clothing items for work.

At work they give out boxes of pop corn for B-days! There are 6 flavors including white chocolate peanut butter and caramel chocolate drizzle. Needless to say - very dangerous so it's important to share.

I returned to NJ for a night at mom made me my favorite dinner of pecan chicken (that's right - I ate chicken!), rice, and greenery. The desert was a masterful chocolate bunt cake I forgot to take a picture of. Oh - and when I took a train back to ny, it was double decker! I felt like I was in the Netherlands!

Olymic Torch, I Saw It!

I forgot to mention I saw that torch with the little Chinese mafia men around it! First it drove by me, Cal, and his parents as we walked to the DLR - on a bus. Then it went across the Thames from Canary Wharf to erm, that dock at the 02 where the Clipper clips away from. I know you can't really see it but I swear, that's it! With the 5 boats around it.

Cody's Duck

My poddle has a thing for quaking duck stuffed animals. We've given him buffalo, polar bears, and a beaver, but he only falls in love with the ducks. My mom says it's the quack. When he paws at Ducky, it goes "quack quack quack quack quack" - sometimes when I call home, I can hear it in the background; the thing really doesn't shut up. Below are two images of Cody with his most recently deceased (notice the torn out bill), and then his current yellow duck. (color, we have found, is not an issue).

April Images

I've taken a bunch of pics this month on my phone, but failed to upload. Here are some highlights.

This art is dog scratches on paper. It's apparently famous and worth $$$$, residing in a lawyer's entryway.
My clothing supply in NJ is limited because most of my closet is in fidi with me, but I did pull out some toe socks when i was last home for my birthday.
These doors in the west village are the 2nd love of my life. they're huge, I'm guessing 12' tall, perhaps you can see the "mini" door (like cathedrals have) on the third panel to the left.
Me, eating a cupcake on the west side highway as runners jog past. I swear God put them there to make me feel guilty. I finished the entire cupcake, at least it was vegan.
Police ponies in east china town fenced in area.
Amazing poster store on Chambers st with tons of origional old movie& theatre posters for a cool $500 and up. Worthy note - the gallerina isn't a bitch!
One of those floraly trees (cherry tree?) in Tribeca. I love walking under them. My favorite spot is along Cole's Sports Center at Mercer and Bleeker.

Tans & Cosmo

NY Times Magazine had 1 double sided glossy ad in the middle of its pages; each side has close up image of a model with very natural makeup, brunette, a little bit of a tan, and soft pink lipstick pouting at me. In white bold white letters side 1 reads: SEXY MEANS SHOWING YOUR TRUE COLORS, and side two reads: SEXY MEANS BUSINESS, with a fun fact below: LAST YEAR, COSMO READERS SPENT OVER $3 BILLION ON BEAUTY PRODUCTS WIHTOUT BLUSHING. HOW SEXY IS THAT?

Excuse me?

Sexy = business
buying beauty products = sexy
So...
business = buying beauty products?

(if you know which type of fallacy this is, please let me know because I forget)

Needless to say, the ad is shit. Why is purchasing lots of beauty products make women sexy? Certainly Cosmo magazine is projecting a certain type of sexy that can't be done without lots of makeup. Interesting target market, I find that most of the magazine recycles the same sex tips and has 1 articles burried in the back pages that's 1/2 worth readings always entitled "I was a sex slave" or "I have an arranged marriage" with a "As told to ___ by ___" under the title.

While on my beauty rant, another problem - tanning! Why are people obsessed with looking tan? At work, Marie pointed out that women have been wanting to be pale for centuries. Pale is beautiful. People of darker skin tones in Africa and India spent millions (billions?) of dollars on skin lightening products, and white people spend TONS of $ on skin darkening at tanning salons? This is weird. Why can't we all just be happy with what we have naturally.

I think of India Arie's song Brown Skin, and how in love she is with her color. And then I think "Why is she so confident, but I look at myself in the mirror and feel pressured to pull out the bronzer brush?" It makes me feel even more self conscious about my self consciousness. Now I just need to throw out my NARS Sunkissed powder.

And about these people who say a tan looks healthier and those tanorexics. A normal BMI and fit muscles look fit and healthy. A super tan does not make you look skinnier. It means skin cancer and in my humble personal opinion, you're really vain and have way too much time. But that's not to say I've not attempted to lie down in the sun during the summer, it just never really works out for me.

So actually, perhaps this is all just the backlash of a chronically pale woman attempting to deal with her issues.

Kelis' Excel Diagram

Cal just sent this to me. I loved this song (Milkshake by Kelis), back in erm... 2003. God, that was so long ago.

Reputation Management

I got a call last night from this guy who found me on Monster. His father committed a crime 15 years ago, and now when his name is googled, court documents regarding the event pop up first in the organic results. Not good for business (especially when slimy competitors actually tell customers to google his name). Plus, the guy that phoned me has the same name as his dad - and it's a distinctive name that not many people have.

At about the same time, Avi received a call from some real estate tycoon. The man started crying, saying he'd lost his fiancee and business was ruined, all because of archived articles from Fox 5 News, NY1, and other prominent news sources that pop up when googled. In short, he needs help getting this shit off the 1st page.

So look out - reputation management is coming! What an excellent opportunity for me to grow my seo skills. I've begun my research. ya!

Bryant Park

Yesterday for lunch, it was so beautiful out that I walked to Bryant Park with my lunch (veggie panini & salad with tomato & guac). It was like a NJ mall the day after Thanksgiving! Totally packed, and I ended up sharing a table with a nice woman from Riverdale who worked at Reader's Digest selling ad space. We had a great time learning about each other's jobs & tamales.

My Spanx

I, like many women, wear Spanx with certain outfits. Now, for people who know what Spanx are and who I am, this may come as a surprise (even Beyonce does!). I am not a mini-van owner or 40 years old. I have a slim BMI for my 6 foot frame. But even so, my trunk can jiggle so I rely on Sarah Blakely's beautiful invention for certain silky outfits (mostly semi-sheer/silky dresses, where even the thinest Hanky Panky will catch the fabric and show through).

Here are my measurements before and after Spanx:
Around my belly button: before- 31", after- 30.5"
Lower Hip: before- 36", after- 36" (no change)
Thigh: before- 22.5", after- 22"

From doing these measurements, the funniest part is that in pant sizes, I'm a 28" or 29" - but actually, when you take out a measuring tape where my pants sit on my hips is 34". Those dang marketers.

I always have been a fighter for seamless underwear - and am constantly testing new brands, with much help from the ladies at Le Petit Coquette(although on my most recent trip this butch looking Russian was a bitch to me). It drives me crazy when I see women in bras that don't fit, apparently 85% of women don't wear the right size! And it happens so much! The worst offenders by far, in my opinion, are the Italians. You think they'd be all euro chic but those women are busting out in all the wrong places like it's a job (think back fat %'s of Free Willy).

Megalomania

Megalomania (from the Greek word μεγαλομανία) is a psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence - often generally termed as delusions of grandeur. It includes an obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

What did I do today?

I had a very productive day. Went to class, worked out before class, appointment in west village, here are a couple images and videos from my adventure.

I ate a snack of pickles, 2 slices of jack cheese, and almonds. I know, I'm eating dairy again - so savage. I thought it looked pretty, so I took a pic.
Me and V were early to meet Alex Moo for an evening drink at Kettle and the Fish in west villg, so we stopped by NYU's carnival in Kimmel and were entertained by magic tricks for a couple minutes, played with stick toys, and took this picture.


After dinner at Hampton Chutney (hollar to Steeners), me and V visited Cat who was getting a tattoo on Ludlow and Houston. Very exciting! She didn't flinch, because she's a seasoned pro and this was just a little heart on her wrist.

Puppies! (more)

This little yellow lab puppy follows me through the subways, isn't it cute? He advertises for Cottonelle, a TP brand.

Spying on Neighbors: The END!

I do not bull shit, after my previous post, I came home today and checked about all my windows that face next door and the apt is def empty!

Puppies!

This little guy was sitting across from me on the downtown 5 train ayer as I went home. Very exciting, he was like a hearty chihuahua looking doggy. And the old guy was a good looking old guy, with a great non-metro sense of style, i was very impressed by the whole package.
I was eating lunch the other day at Hale & Hearty Soups when... a westie in a pink sweater stopped RIGHT IN FRONT of me! I was so excited! I had to control myself and resist the urge to jump on the other side of the glass and pet it.

Spying On Neighbors

Me and Steeners look across a 5 foot gap into the building next door, 25 stories up in the sky. The apartment next door is always DEAD during the day. And at night, a white girl and black guy take their seats at desks and work at laptops. Then, an asian girl pops out and works at a laptop too on occasion. We think she lives there because we see her in the attached bedroom from a window next to our elevator in the hall. The lights are on practically EVERY night, ALL night. And every horizontal surface in the room is covered with stacks of papers and books. What do you think they're doing in there?

My Rich Old Lady

I have a game plan for moving to London and living in luxury.

Find a friendly old widow, with a townhouse in zone 1, and move into one of her spare bedrooms. We can eat breakfast together, and since old people wake up early perhaps she'll even want to make it for me. We'll both be very down to earth, and not require a chef, but perhaps someone to help with (my) ironing, laundry, cleaning. She'll have very fast wireless internet, huge flat screen tvs, and be slightly hard of hearing so I can play my music without bothering her. Like all nice old rich ladies, she will also have a pack of small dogs, to which I can gently suggest she add a couple of standard poodle. Then I will take the standard poodles on walks. She will have no family members alive, and look upon me as a daughter figure - not that I want her $ when she dies, just a reliable friend till she dies; and since we'll get along so well, I'm hoping she wont die soon.

Seriously, how do I go about locating my lady? In my brainstorm I've come up with an idea - I will pretend to be a church going Christian! Old ladies are either funny bitter aethiests or very religious, and since I can't find an athisflatshare.org, my approach is christianflatshare.org .

But in that I have found another problem - old ladies aren't the most internet savy bunch so unless their butlers are posting extra rooms online, I need to reach them another way. Perhaps going to a club meeting that targets my lady, such as the Miller's Academy or the RAC (which has cute little motorbikes on it's flag hanging over Pall Mall) will be good stomping grounds.

Then of course, there is Cal's flat. I could stay with him. But we're still debating this one - let you know when we figure it out.

Dossing Around SMALLEST apt EVER

Today I did well, very little. I enjoyed my day of screwing off by
1) watching a movie
2) doing weights at the gym for almost 2 hours with Venice
3) playing with evite backgrounds

Stuff I got done:
1) Picked up my shoes from the shoe man
2) Got a check for my UK work visa from my bank
3) Figured out how to complete my Anime paper due next Friday

4) Visited Alex Moo's new apt! And helped him with editing cover letters. He is now living on West 14th St, great location. Watch the video tour! And take notes B&Ters - this is how hard core NYers do it. (please note: I'm way not hard core)


No, it does not have a kitchen but it does have a hot plate. No, it does not have a private bathroom, but it does have a 3rd floor toilet that gets cleaned for him. No, it doesn't have the internet, but there are plenty of wireless signals around. No, it does not have any outside space, but it does have roof access where people throw their old mattresses.

Simulacrum

1.	a slight, unreal, or superficial likeness or semblance.

2.	an effigy, image, or representation: a simulacrum of Aphrodite.

Plural: simulacra
noun.

Cat in the Sink

My cat in the sink. Mom would go crazy if she saw this. Niki also likes to eat all the flowers. So we only buy roses, because she doesn't eat rose stems.

Ski Video

Me in some bowl in Alta.

The General's Dead

I'm sitting here in the lodge lobby, and the entire staff was just told a guy nicknamed "The General" who had worked here for a couple seasons died last night. It's weird, to catch such an emotional moment between people. The entire staff got real quiet and these two employees playing chess next to me, one of them just started crying.

Whenever you're told someone is dead, at least for me - it's always really unexpected. And while I know it's sad, I've always wondered if something's a little wrong with me, becuase I don't cry that much (if at all). And then I feel a bit bad because I'm not crying. Stupid perhaps but I figure I just wont ever see them again, it's like they've moved away or are going on a really long vacation.

Anyways, that's it.

Ski: Day 1

Today was tons of fun. But there were a couple small bumps. When dad convinced me to enter a ravine with huge rock walls, that had a very narrow ski area which…wait for it… was also rock infested! Or in the first run when he led me over a little edge telling me to ignore the double black gate – which surprise! Had a little 4.5 foot cliff I had to jump off of midtway through.

But I have a couple little tricks up me sleeve:
1. When turning I make little “grr” noises, this helps me stay down hill and aggressive. Plus, making grr noises is fun!
2. If dad says I should go down something that looks scary, I can just say no. Not that hard. Then again, dad has invested lots of $ in my education and it would be counterproductive for him to accidentally kill me so chances are, I’ll be safe on his route.
3. If I feel like I’m going to fall, just make a little noise that sounds like I’m having fun and it’ll be great (think hoot). It’s a bit like when toddlers fall, and they look up to see if the adults are looking concerned/sad or laughing with joy before they decide how to take their own tumble.

Ski Heaven

I have just arrived at the Peruvian Lodge, sleeping soundly at the base of Alta. Next to being with Cal, this is as close to being in heaven as can happen on earth. Clear air. Friendliest people saying hi (it's those great Mormon influences). TONS OF SNOW. Skiers only. It's as if my planets have aligned. The only problems - not a poodle or Scotsman in sight.

Anyways, I'm so excited to begin skiing tomorrow in my new booties. Me, Dad and Drew have shared passes, so we can ski right into the neighboring mountain Snowbird, which has a huge back bowl. And the best news is - there's more snow coming! It just doesn't stop here.

Well, I'm tired so off to bed I go. Will give an update on my day manana.

My Man Sent...

Look what my boyfriend fiance sent me!

Oh yeah, he got the chocolates to come too! Really really yummy chocolates. Venice and Steeners will agree I do think.

The Epic Event 2009

My Color Still Life

I'm taking NYU's Intro to Painting course. Last week, I focused on a little part of this still life combo; all student had to bring an object. I forgot one, so used my work shoe (not visible in photos). Please note, the above picture was only 1/2 done, but the troll still ended up looking like it was a torture survivor.

My Love Interest

Funny as it sounds, I have a female admirer from eastern europe. She wrote me:

Hello !!!
My name is Julia, I'am 30 years old.
I have contacted with dating agency to find you.
They told that we approach to each other and
I have decided to write to you! I'm lonely and not
married cute girl! If you are interested to get acquainted
with me that write to my Email: julik.for.love@hotmail.com

Seriously, WTF? I'm not into girls like that. I like my girl friends, and I don't want her. I'm not an agist or anything, it's just that she doesn't speak with correct grammar, and that drives me crazy.

Who on earth sold my email address to her? I also got one from a fake gofish account too. Go Fish Dating is perhaps the most popular free online dating website in the states. So weird.

New Bag, reflections

I understand that my beautiful Linea Pelle number (previous post) is made of leather. And yes, this has plagued me. I know it's two faced of me to not eat meat and then purchase leather goods, but it's so soft, and it looks so good. And lets get real, fake leather looks cheap. It does! Plus, I figure the cows are getting murdered anyways for the meat so I may as well take a little skin.
This is entirely unlike bunny fur, or racoon fur, which does not get eaten. Never the less, I'm still a bad person.

New Bag

"Close your eyes as you caress your new handbag for the first time, picture all the looks of longing from your green with-envy-friends and bask in the perfection of your bag. This is your moment to shine. And always remember Kataphileo...Kiss passionately, live intensely"

The above message was attached to a handbag which was delivered by FedEx. I was watching it travel via tracking number from Louisianna to NYC. I love it, although at 19" long, it's not as big as I expected. Because 19" sounds huge, but it really isn't.

What to wear?

I just got these shoes, they will be worn with a tight navy blue Norma Kamali dress made of a polyester spandex blend. That sounds uber tacky, but I promise the dress looks nice, with a low V-neck.

Q: What color tights do I wear? Grey, nude/skin color? Let me know.

Flowers

My man sent me flowers. Again.

Eating Meat=Driving SUV

I have decided I am not opposed to eating meat. It's the way we treat and kill it, and the huge quantities at which we consume it in America that I find disturbing. I could go research all these scary facts about what cow farts do to the atmosphere, but I rather let the Human Society of the US show you how animals are treated. Other interesting videos: where fur trim comes from (dogs/cats in Asia), puppy mills in Virginia expose or Paris Hilton's pet history.

Second, I've decided I will open an animal sanctuary when I have the time/space/$. Yes, that's a sanctuary for cows, pigs, goats, sheep, the whole 9 yards. And lots of chickens. It would be a bit like the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary where you can visit and meet the animals! I will start small because luckily, pigs come in mini sizes. I was thinking of naming him Bubbles or her Periwinkle.

So in the spirit of sustainable agriculture and eating meat that lived a happy life in a pasture and was killed in a relatively humane way (not neck stabbed like horses are in Mexico/Canada), I recommend finding local farms on this site, EatWild.com.

My Boyfriend the Superhero

Apparently this is what Cal would look like if he were a super hero. Appropriately kilted, with his light saber from Selfridges & Co., and bunny slippers to make him "sensitive."

Stuff I Want

I am constantly keeping a mental list of all thing material possessions I want (the other kind are already on the table: Cal, fun well paid job, good grades).
1. Burberry's Prorsum line (pronounced P-ror-sum) has made a spring patent leather sandal, complete with studs galore! I love them, even if they are a little drag queen bondage-esque. Read more about them.
2. The Opium necklace from YSL. It can be doubled wrapped for a choker effect.

3. A Bape sweatshirt. The Bathing Ape, a fashionable Japanese import with a funky edge.4. Nike/other brand, bright puffy high tops. I love them, they're funky and a new rendition on the traditional converse high top. Plus, they'll look great with my skinny jeans.
5. Vegan bag. I have yet to select, but I'm having trouble selecting my new spring bag b/c so little out there looks nice without being cheapy chesey, and uber fake leather. Here are some good options though. My favorite is mat & natt.

6. And of course, a horse! Yes, I want a white pony and I refuse to accept that I can't be a proud owner b/c I'm in a city.

Pink People

I had an epiphany while at the gym today. White people are not white. As I watched myself do free weights in the big work out room, I noticed that me and the other white people are actually a lot more pink than white. We should be called pink people.

Vagina Couch

I found this on the Best of Craig's List, being sold for $600 in "NoCal" as my roommate says.

My 1st Painting

I used to be quite artistic in high school, but time and NYU bureaucracy have limited my abilities to take an art class. Yesterday, I attended Intro to Painting, a pathetically dumbed down course that doesn't even give us an opportunity to use oils; still, it's better than nothing. So off I went with my acrylics today, all the way to...my window. And I painted the Brooklyn Bridge :-). Here is the fruit of my efforts:On a completely different note, the big weight lift guys at Gold's talked to me today! And they weren't scary at all, they were actually really nice.

My Gym Fear

So I've started going to Gold's and must admit, it's a bit fun. I love that I get my own TV on my cardio machine, and that the locker room looks fancy and has offers up free Q-Tips. The people who work there are also really friendly.

Right now, I'm working on my fear of the weight room. I've signed up for a couple sessions with dear Diana, and she's taught me how to use a bunch of the free weights in ways that make me look slightly less like an idiot. Yup, I'm in there with the big boys (and some girls) lifting huge weights, leaving a trail of machines on the "15 lb" level; it's like my "the pirate was here" mark.

My personal goal is to do 1 hr or 500 calories burned (whichever comes first, or a class) at least 5 times a week. I did it last week, and I'm on my way to doing it again this one.

Also, I love watching Bravo reruns as I sweat; the Real House Wives of Orange County are my work-out gal pals.

Testicle Ripped Off

This is why open relationships don't work, people get jealous - even if they say they don't mind the openness - and then people get hurt! like, RIP OFF A TESTICLE hurt.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

Lock Out(s)!

It all began with a tour of Tessa's apt after a late (11pm) b-fast at Around the Clock.

In case you can't tell, in the above footage the first bed I show you is actually a couch. And what I wanted to compare Tessa's "blinds" to was colored paper Kat placed on her windows to stop light from coming in.

The good news: Kat is in Germany right now and doesn't need her bedroom.



The door ended up being reopened by a couple of drunk girls a few nights later. We don't have any idea how they did it.

If this wasn't bad enough I then realized :
1. I lost my monthly metro card.
2. I locked myself out of my own apt, and must pag $20 to get the managers to get back in between 11pm and 9am.
3. The next morning I realized I lost my gym locker lock & key, I have no idea where I put them.

The good news:
1. I can report it to the MTA and they'll refund me.
2. I got to make a new friend with the night time building manager Sam.
3. I get to buy a new padlock that doesn't involve a key, which is hard to hold onto while working out.

Happiness

"Married, extroverted optimists are happier than single, pessimistic introverts, and Republicans are happier than Democrats... it helps to be religious, sexually active and a college graduate with a short commute to work. The wealthy experience more mirth than the poor..."

It's in Iceland, The Secret to Happiness article in January 19th's Economist. If you exchange "married" with "in a relationship" and stretch the word religious a little bit, this helps explain why I'm such a bundle of joy.

My Deodorant

Secret has made this great deodorant that I use. But as the consumer, I have a huge problem with how they rip me off.

When I open the box, I have to twist the bottom knob thing about 20 times till the white substance puffs out of the top. At which point, I have half the deodorant container with no purpose (my fingers show where the white stuff "starts" once the knob pushes it up to the level where it actually pops out of the container). Why not just give me a smaller container? It'll save plastic, or charge me less since it's not a full container.